SumoYasha
by Jugulleh
Summary: Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru face off, sumo style, while in the midst of an intense love rectangle!


**Sumoyasha**

The sun was setting as Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru faced each other in battle. Kagome stood at the sidelines with Shippou cowering away from the two large half brothers. The blimp on which they were standing was filled with tension as the two sumos-in-training glared at each other with intense hatred. Kouga, the blimp's pilot, appeared beside Kagome to root on his beloved Inuyasha. Sesshoumaru's jealousy of Kouga's affection towards Inuyasha forced him to face off against his own half brother.

Shippou acted as referee, throwing in the white rag to begin the battle. Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru launched at each other as the battle began. Unfortunately, the first blow was directed at Inuyasha as Sesshoumaru pushed him backwards into Shippou. A small squeal was heard as Inuyasha's gargantuan buttocks squashed Shippou, and he promptly died.

Kagome screamed and angrily began punching Inuyasha's fat back. His fat rippled as her punches got harder, but he was still unaffected. Kouga, offended that Kagome was attempting to hurt his beloved Inuyasha, ran up to her and began hitting her manly post-op body. However, Kouga didn't just hit her normally—oh no, he hit her in the typical girly fashion, whining and foot stomping included.

Kagome laughed a deep, manly laugh and picked Kouga up off the floor. Since she was now, thanks to steroids, two feet taller than Kouga, it was obvious that she would win. She threw him off the blimp as far as she could, and Sesshoumaru promptly let out a scream as his beloved flew off the blimp and into a spiky tree. Sesshoumaru jumped off after him and was followed soon after by Inuyasha and Kahome. When they landed, they each created huge craters in the ground, sending earthquake-like vibrations miles away.

Inuyasha's love for Kagome was not threatened by the brutal beating he had received from her moments earlier, and so as she ran after Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha ran after her. He could never fully comprehend why her affections would be directed at Sesshoumaru rather than him. What angered Inuyasha the most, however, was that Sesshoumaru cared not for Kagome, but instead loved Kouga, who in turn loved Inuyasha.

Kouga went after Kagome. Not only was he angry about her intentionally throwing him off of a blimp, but he was also jealous of Inuyasha's feelings towards her. As Kagome sprinted towards Sesshoumaru, Kauga dived at her and she fell flat on her face. However, a few scrapes and bruises would not deter her, and she quickly got up and was facing Kouga.

"How dare you, you smelly beast stupid-head buttsniffer!" she…he….it(?) said, it's manly voice reverberating through the ground, causing birds in nearby trees to fly away in terror.

"How dare I? Au contraire, how dare YOU! You are crazy one, going through the ordeal of getting a sex-change surgery just to satisfy Inuyasha's freaky desires and steal away his love for me!" Kouga spat.

Meanwhile, Sesshoumaru stood opposite his younger brother, poised once again for combat, "Have you any idea what danger you are in, Sumo-yasha?" He questioned, reaching behind his back and pulled out his most deadly sword, Chichiwomoge.

Inuyasha cowered back in terror as Sesshoumaru wielded Chichiwomoge at him in a most threatening manner, "Are you insane?!?" Inuyasha yelled as his older brother advanced upon him. Inuyasha knew exactly what hideous powers lay dormant in the Chichiwomoge. Little did Sesshoumaru know that Inuyasha had been granted the power of Palmchete by the supreme demon lord of the western lands, Ggochujamji. Inuyasha secretly knew that any powers that the Chichiwomoge held would be ineffective against his Palmchete.

"Insane? You dare call me insane? I, Sesshoumaru, have a very large, wide, and pulsing…sword. But, this match would be better fought as a sumo match." Sesshoumaru grinned at Inuyasha, knowing that his weight was far superior to that of his brother.

All of a sudden, a deafening crash echoed across the valley. Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha turned their attention towards the sound, and promptly noticed that Kouga and Kagome were deep in battle. Kagome had Kouga pinned down to the earth. Kouga's struggles to free himself were worthless; Kagome simply weighed too much now.

Sesshoumaru, aware of Kagome's feelings towards him, dashed over to the two brawling enemies and pleaded to Kagome to let Kouga free. Sesshoumaru attempted to seductively entice Kagome by lifting up Chichiwomoge and licking it slowly. Of course her(it) attention was then turned to him, allowing Kouga a chance to escape.

Despite the fact that Kouga loathed the very thought of Sesshoumaru, he was nonetheless thankful for the rescue. Unfortunately, Inuyasha paid no attention whatsoever to Kouga, and all his attention was directed at Kagome. Kouga's disappointment was obvious. "My dear Inuyasha, why won't you accept my love? Why do you run after that man-woman?!" he muttered sadly under his breath.

Inuyasha, in a brief period of excitement and confusion, ran over to Kagome and stroked her biceps. "Kagome, you know I love these…" he smiled at her. Sesshoumaru was done teasing her and was already making his way to the depressed looking Kouga. But Inuyasha would not let him go so easily. "Do not forget about our brawl, brother," he spat angrily, "I will never forgive you for making Kagome like you."

"Her love is as worthless to me as a dead mosquito buried under thousands of feet of dirt." Sessoumaru replied.

Kouga still stood disappointedly by himself. Sesshoumaru still looked at his beloved Kouga. Inuyasha still stroked Kagome's biceps. And lastly, Kagome's eyes still followed every move that Sesshoumaru made. But, all of a sudden, before any one of them could react, a long shadow descended upon them. It took only seconds before the entire blimp fell down on them, and they all were squished by its sheer size.

Off in the distance, Kilala and Sango caught the whole thing on film. "This'll take youtube by storm…" Sango laughed to herself.


End file.
